


Here's a Joke

by orphan_account



Category: Daredevil (TV), Hawkeye (Comics)
Genre: Aromantic Clint, Aromantic Matt, Friendship, Gen, clint's terrible luck, cw: creepy dudes in bars, matt abandoning his cane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 23:32:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here's a joke:<br/>A blind man and a deaf man go to a bar. The blind man jumps over it like a futzing ninja. The deaf guy walks face first into it, fall on his ass, rips his jeans, and breaks his nose.</p><p>Clint and Matt hang out for a day. Clint's life is one joke after another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here's a Joke

**Author's Note:**

> I really love Fraction's Hawkeye run and the Daredevil series on Netflix and personally think they'd be great friends. I also think they're both aromantic af and Clint's life is a disaster.  
> This is pure friendly fluff. No sex, no romance, just a day in the life of Clint.  
> Please leave comments and criticism!

Here's a joke:  
A blind man and a deaf man go to a bar.  
The blind man jumps over it like a futzing ninja.  
The deaf guy walks face first into it, fall on his ass, rips his jeans, and breaks his nose.

In actuality, it's a pole. Matt had sidestepped it nimbly, leaving Clint (who had been walking next to him, and had been focusing more on their conversation than their surroundings) to run into it. Matt had laughed and laughed as he waited for Clint to get up and stop groaning about how life was unfair. He also curls up and cries from laughing so hard when Clint reaches back and palms his underwear and says mournfully, "Aww, pants."

"Clint, pl-please." The little shit is gasping for air. "How are you this much of a disaster?" He's still laughing as he sets Clint's nose and pulls a handkerchief out of his fancy lawyer jacket pocket. "I thought Natasha was joking."

Clint scowls at him. "Whatever, let's just go get drunk so I can forget about this." It's muffled by the kerchief but Matt of course, understands.

"Do you want to hold onto my arm? We can pretend you're guiding me." Matt suggests through his chuckling.

"How about you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?" Clint says sourly as he flips Matt off. Matt only laughs more and wraps an arm around Clint's shoulder. Usually, Clint would stiffen, but he knows it's a gesture purely born of camaraderie and not of romantic affection. He lets Murdock guide him to the bar and swears he'll buy all rounds as long as, "you stop laughing, Matt, god."

* * *

 

Here's another joke:  
An Avenger gets in a barfight.  
He loses.

Here's the full story: The man had been making this woman uncomfortable all night. Matt could sense it, Clint could see it on her face. The man's easily twice her size, and twice her age, and it's downright disgusting how he's leering at her, as if her shorts are there to show off her legs, instead of there because it's ridiculously hot today. Eventually Clint gets fed up with how the girl looks like she's going to cry because she's terrified for her life, and Clint throws a bottle cap right at the creep's forehead. Matt hums a note of appreciation; whether it's due to Clint's precision or due to the fact that he is relieved that Clint is taking care of a situation he desperately wants to but can't, is anyone's guess.

The man turns startled and angry towards Clint.

"Whoops. Slipped." Clint gives his best shit-eating grin before the man storms over to him.

"You better apologize, ya shit." Clint's really tired of angry drunks. He's dealt with them too much throughout his entire life.

"What was that? Sorry, can't hear you." He eggs the man on as he stands up and turns his head to show off his hearing aid. Matt's not next to him anymore, and he gets the feeling that Daredevil'll make a presence if they manage to take this brawl to the alley.

The man growls, literally growls and it gets the adrenaline pumping through Clint. "I said, you better apologize." He keeps up the menacing act as he leans in closer, fisting a hand in Clint's shirt. To anyone else, this would be absolutely terrifying. But Clint's fought bigger, stronger, and smarter. So he turns, still grinning, back to the man and slams his forehead into the creep's before kneeing him in the family jewels. A few people cheer, a few yell "Fight!" as Clint takes a step back.

Matt, bane-of-Clint's-existence, had left without taking his cane. His cane that Clint has now tripped over and caused to fall backwards and hit his head on the hard wooden floor. He instantly blacks out.

* * *

 

Here's a joke:  
Two aromantics leave a bar together.   
They don't fuck.

When Clint comes to, he's in a strange apartment. He's not tied up, so that's nice. The couch beneath him is uncomfortable, which isn't as nice. The chemical ice pack on the back of his head makes up for it. He sits up with a groan and notices Matt sitting on the chair across from the couch.

"I am so sorry." Matt says instantly. "I had no idea you'd trip over it and knock yourself out."

"'S fine." Clint mumbles. "Not your fault. I shoulda known." Matt just looks more miserable at his words.

"But I-"

"Nope." Clint cuts him off. "It was my own terrible luck. Don't blame yourself." He looks around. "Nice nightlight." He muses. "Your dates must like it."

Matt shrugs. "Don't really get any romantic company ever. Not really my thing."

"Huh. Me neither." Clint says, shrugs.

"Oh. Well the girl you helped slipped her number in your pocket while you were out. Said she wanted to thank you."

"Huh." Clint scratches the back of his head, cursing under his breath as he touched his bruise.

"You want the bed?" Clint tilts his head in confusion. "I don't feel right sending you home with your luck. And the lights kinda bright."

"Aww, nah, man. I can't take your fancy bed from you. I'll be fine with the couch." Clint pats the cushion next to him. "Thanks, though."

"If you're sure." Matt nods before he stands up. "We should do this again sometime." He offers with a smile.

  
"Let's wait a few months and see if my luck makes a turn first." Clint says as he lays back down. Matt does that slightly adorable chuckle thing. "Night Daredvil."

"Night Hawkguy."


End file.
